


Recollection

by Anonymous



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-04 12:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15841035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Azazel remembers.





	1. Chapter 1

Sandalphon had received a note. Particularly, he had received a note from Azazel, fallen angel and self-proclaimed demon. It was unexpected. The two had never spoken a word to each other since Sandalphon had come to live on the Grandcypher. Sandalphon had assumed that they would continue to ignore one another. 

The note itself was a summons, of sorts. In unexpectedly neat handwriting, ‘We need to talk. –Azazel’ was written on the small, torn piece of paper that had been slipped underneath Sandalphon’s door. At first, the note was disregarded. That is until Sandalphon started seeing the fallen angel in the corner of his eye everywhere, as well as feeling lavender eyes stare him down every time they were in the same vicinity, and finding black feathers in the oddest of places. Sandalphon had even found a feather in the bottom of his coffee mug. It seemed that Azazel was serious about wanting to talk. 

In the end, Sandalphon gave in. He stood before the door to Azazel’s living quarters, knocking to let him know that he was there. After a few moments, Azazel opened the door and looked down upon the shorter angel with a look of mild surprise, “ _Finally_. It took you long enough” 

There was a moment of hesitancy, but Sandalphon still entered through the opened door, only giving a soft grunt as acknowledgement as he pushed past Azazel into the sparsely decorated bedroom. He stood with his arms crossed, looking around at anything and everything, except for the fallen angel. Being alone with the Azazel left Sandalphon feeling uncomfortable, a bad taste in his mouth and a tight feeling in his chest. A small voice in the back of his mind told him to stay on guard. 

Azazel closed the door behind him with a soft click, letting out a sigh to fill the silence as he turned to face Sandalphon. He opened his mouth again to speak but Sandalphon quickly cut him off, “I’m here like you asked. What do you want?”. Sandalphon tapped his foot with impatience, wanting for the meeting to be over with as soon as possible. 

At the other’s words, Azazel rolled his eyes as he tilted his head to the side, “Nice to see that you’re just as much of an asshole as before”, despite his sarcastic tone, there was a tired look in his eyes, a look that couldn’t even begin to express the amount of exhaustion associated with ‘before’. 

Sandalphon wearily eyed the other primal, remembering the last time they had been alone together, while they were in the grips of Pandemonium. “You weren’t exactly the most pleasant to be around either”, at the mention of ‘before’, he thought back to his imprisonment. Azazel gave a hum in agreement. Only very rarely, would the two angels have conversation. They chose to avoid each other since most of their conversations would end up as arguments anyways. Sure, Sandalphon hadn’t been pleasant to be around but neither was Azazel. Their unspoken agreement to avoid one another was for the best. 

“Just what is this about,” Sandalphon asked in an irritated tone, “You don’t seem like the type to just reminisce about the past,” Thinking of Pandemonium had further soured his mood. “I’m usually not but...”, Azazel trailed off as if lost in thought before collecting himself and leveling his gaze with Sandalphon’s, “I wanted to talk to you about what happened between us in the astrals’ labs,” The slight shake of his hands betrayed his seemingly cool composure. 

At the mention of the astral labs, Sandalphon’s feeling of unease turned into a deeper feeling of cold dread. If he pushed further back into memories he had long ago buried, he could vaguely remember being confined in the astral labs with Azazel. They always seemed to end up with similar fates, used and cast down. At the time, their fate involved being subjected to cruel experiments at the hands of the astrals. Although he knew that it had been bad, being confined in the labs, and that he had been used as a tool by the astrals; many of his memories of the labs, its experiments, and Azazel were clouded. All he could remember from that point in his life was Lucifer. He held those memories dear, even if they were now tainted with a bitter taste. 

A vague sense of fear gripped Sandalphon as Azazel moved closer to him. The grip he had on his own arm tightened. He had no reason to fear Azazel, Sandalphon was stronger. He could easily protect himself from the other angel if needed. Regardless, the irrational fear still settled itself into the archangel’s mind as he took a few steps back to put some more distance between him and Azazel. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he sighed in annoyance, “I barely even remember anything from back then”. At his words, Azazel’s shoulders drooped, “ Count yourself lucky. I forgot too, but its coming back to me,” grimacing, he continued, “I wish I had never remembered”. Sandalphon could only stand silently, not uttering a word, as he watched the other angel in disbelief. He had never seen Azazel look so defeated. Apparently whatever had happened between them had deeply affected him. Driven by morbid curiosity, Sandalphon asked, “What did you remember?” He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask, but he had to know. 

After the brief moment of silence, Azazel took a deep breath as he crossed his arms and looked down, “Are you sure you want to know?” with a quiet ‘yes’ from Sandalphon as confirmation, he continued, “I hurt you. It was a part of some shitty experiment,”, he looked back up and met Sandalphon’s eyes with his own, “You said you don’t remember but I’m sorry” gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, he continued further, “I know we don’t really get along but I can’t stand it. Knowing that I hurt you like that”,

“Whatever you did, it wasn’t your fault. It was obviously the astral scientists’ fau—“, Azazel cut Sandalphon off, raising his voice to yell, “You don’t understand! What I did was _unforgivable_ “ Eyes widening at the sudden outburst, Sandalphon almost summoned one of his sabres, but pushed the urge down, instead choosing to try to keep his voice from wavering as he asked, “What exactly did you _do_ to me?” With a groan of frustration, Azazel began to pace the room, fisting his hands into his hair, “I can’t do this,” He kept his eyes on Sandalphon, brows furrowed, “I can’t talk about this” his voiced raised even more as he exclaimed, “JUST LEAVE!” 

Before Sandalphon could protest, the fallen angel grabbed him by the arm, causing the smaller angel to tense up. Azazel grimaced as he felt the other angel tense up and quickly shoved him out of the room, loudly slamming the door closed. Breathing heavily, Sandalphon stared wide-eyed at the closed door before hurriedly returning to his own quarters on trembling legs. Just what had Azazel remembered?


	2. Chapter 2

The first time he gained back his memories of the astral labs, Azazel was attempting to spend his idle time on the deck of the Grandcypher. On that day, the ship had been docked at a merchant port and many crew members had left to buy supplies and explore, including the captain. It had been quiet without a majority of the crew onboard and, with nothing else to do, Azazel decided to try and enjoy the nice weather.

It was sunny, not a cloud in the sky, with a gentle breeze. The rays of the sun shined down and warmed Azazel to the core. He had never truly appreciated the skies or its sun until he had been imprisoned in constant, all-encompassing darkness. The vast blue was like a miracle in comparison. 

He let out a sigh as he revealed his raptor-like wings and let the breeze knock some of his older feathers loose. He stretched his wings out in front of him and ran his fingers through the black feathers, causing even more of them to float away with the wind. He watched as they drifted farther and farther away, until he could no longer see them. Plucking yet another feather, he wondered. When had he last taken care of his wings? Perhaps he had never taken care of them to begin with. It was just another thing he couldn’t recall. 

Ever since he had escaped Pandemonium, moments of rest often seemed to allude him. Being able to enjoy idle time was rare. Not that he minded. After remembering the fact that he was an angel and /not/ a demon, he always found himself feeling anxious when not preoccupying himself with distractions. It was like there was something in the back of his mind, a feeling of dread that never really completely went away even when he _was_ distracted. The dread always seemed to increase tenfold when he tried to think back to before rebelling and before pandemonium. He knew he was still missing some of his memories, but what exactly were those memories? He had a vague sense that he was better off not knowing, but he had a morbid curiosity. 

Of course, He knew he had been imprisoned, with the rest of the fallen angels, for rebelling against the astrals. He knew that they rebelled because the astrals mistreated them, but he still felt as if he was forgetting something major. What was _his_ exact reason for rebelling? It was like there was a shadow in the back of his mind that the light couldn’t yet reach. 

Having had enough of thinking about his missing time in the labs, Azazel decided that he would explore the island to take his mind off of things. Perhaps he could find the captain and join them in whatever adventure they had gotten into. Surprisingly, he enjoyed the company of the captain, Lyria, and even the annoying red lizard. Oddly enough, he respected them, having felt guilt at lying to them about what he remembered.

He shook his wings and ran his fingers through them once more to ensure that he wouldn’t explode into a flurry of dark feathers when he took off. Looking back, he wish he wouldn’t have wasted time with preening himself and had just took off when he had the chance. 

Before he could lift off, seemingly out of nowhere, a small group boarded the airship. Looking over to the commotion, Azazel realized the group was exactly who he was going to look for. It was the captain, Lyria, and the flying lizard; as well as a human girl, and an unconscious human boy. Azazel couldn’t recognize either the dark-haired humans. The captain and unfamiliar girl carried the boy, his feet dragged the ground and his head was lying limply to the side. He appeared to be out cold. Azazel watched in mild interest, not saying anything. He didn’t really want to bother himself with the troubles of humans he didn’t know, but it involved Lyria and the others, so he was still interested enough to be a bystander. He put his wings away and leaned against the airship’s railing. It seemed that he had found the distraction he had been looking for.

Deciding not to waste anymore time, they laid the unconscious boy onto the ground, tearing his bloodied shirt open to reveal three deep, horizontal claw marks across his stomach. It appeared that the human had gotten into a fight with something much larger than him. Everyone’s faces went pale at the sight of the wound. Lyria and the flying lizard remained uncharacteristically quiet as the brunette girl tightly clutched the boy’s hand in her own and cried. Captain, brave as always, was the first to recollect themself. With a serious expression, they asked Lyria to retrieve something from below deck. She nodded, a serious expression on her face, and hurriedly left to go below deck. 

As she left, the captain pulled a small box from a pouch at their side. They took a small red bottle and a cloth from the box and began to clean the wound; clearing it of dirt and dried blood. Just as quickly as she had left, the Lyria returned, carrying a golden staff in hand. Thanking her, Captain took the staff and instructed everyone to stand back. The girl, her name was Jessica, was reluctant to leave the boy’s side but complied; dropping his hand and moving to stand behind the captain. As the staff lit up, they began to use it to close the wound, slowly weaving skin back together with magic. 

Unfortunately, fate had chosen that moment for the boy to regain consciousness. He began to thrash around, reopening his wound with all of his kicking and punching. Quickly setting the staff down, Captain succeeded in pinning the boy’s arms, while the girl quickly managed to hold down his legs. Despite being tightly pinned, the boy was still putting up a good fight. Lyria watched closely, unable to further help. 

As they struggled, the captain looked around the deck, searching, and laid their eyes upon Azazel. They had a mild look of surprise. It seemed that they had not noticed the angel’s presence when they had first boarded the airship. As they made eye contact, Azazel knew that he shouldn’t have stayed there to watch. From the look in the captain’s eyes, he could tell that there was no way he could escape from becoming involved. 

They yelled over to the fallen angel, as if Azazel didn’t already know what he was about to be asked, “Hey Azazel! Could you hel–,” their words faltered as the boy tried to throw them off again, “Hold Ayer down!” 

Azazel came over, not bothering to give a verbal reply, and took the captain’s place. Holding the teenager down was easy. Sure, he was strong for a human, but still not as strong as a primal like Azazel. Regardless, the boy wouldn’t stop struggling and that’s when a sense of déjà vu hit Azazel. He had done this before. It wasn’t exactly the same, but close. Looking down at the brown hair obscuring the boy’s face, the fallen angel broke out in a cold sweat as a vision of panicked, red eyes flashed through his mind. He instantly felt nauseous.

The brown hair, the thrashing, the panicked, sweaty face, even the sister’s sobs; it all blended into one scene in Azazel’s mind. His memories from his time in the astral labs crashed over him like an unrelenting wave. Feelings of guilt, shame, and anger all coalesced inside of him, and crushed him under their weight. He gritted his teeth as he hoped that the memories flooding his mind were fake, but he knew it was foolish to deny it. They were undeniably real. These memories were his exact reason for his act of rebellion against the astrals. 

Dazed, Azazel shakily stood as the human slipped back into unconsciousness, his wound having been completely sealed. The captain breathed a sigh of relief and the girl’s cries quieted down. Everyone was beginning to settle down, but Azazel was far from settled. Lyria was the first to notice that something was wrong. She called out the Azazel, but he couldn’t respond. 

He swayed with dizziness, tears that had yet to fall clouded his vision. The fallen angel took a few uncoordinated steps away from the group before he finally manifested his wings and fled from the scene. He could hear Lyria, Captain, and that annoying lizard call after him in concern but he ignored them. He needed time to clear his thoughts. He needed to talk to Sandalphon.


End file.
